Confessions
by spn22
Summary: Merlin is called upon by the King but finds Arthur a little worse for wear. Not slash unless you want to read it like that!


_I do not own Merlin_

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There were some nights that Arthur would call Merlin up in the middle of the night. It wasn't exactly outside his job description. Being a member of the Kings immediate staff meant he had to be on call at all times...but it never particularly filled him with joy. In fact, he had come to dread the moment when he was curled up in bed and the agonising knock at the door would slip into his unconsciousness.

Gaius would always get to the door first. A castle servant would be standing at the door, an apologetic look on his face, requesting that the King needed Merlin's services immediately.

"My apologies. The King had an urgent letter which needs to be written. He needs Merlin"

"My apologies for the late hour...but Merlin is required to clean the ballroom. A last minute party has been planned for the Queen"

"King Arthur requires Merlin to help him prepare for a speech to the Mayor of Derbyshire."

Each time, Merlin would give a huge sigh into his pillow, wait for Gaius to open his door and pass him a cold glass of water. He would then quickly change into his work clothes and step blindly out into the cold air. Merlin had started to become sure that Arthur deliberately picked nights where Merlin had been convinced to stay for that one extra ale at the Tavern.

However, this time when he heard the inevitable knock at the door, Merlin listened more carefully when he heard Gaius's voice at the door.

"I'm sorry, young Ambrose. What is the reason the King requires Merlin's services?"

_At this bloody hour? _Merlin thought, closing his eyes. He resisted the temptation of screaming into his pillow.

"...I'm sorry Gaius. I am unable to comment. The King requires Merlin's services now. He requested that he come immediately."

"There is usually a specific reason"

"Not one I can give you, Gaius"

"Very well." Merlin could hear Gaius' concern now becoming one of annoyance. Gaius had been a confident for the Pendragon's for years. Being put on the back foot always unsettled him.

"His Highness requests your presence Merlin". Merlin didn't miss the scorn in Gaius' voice. Merlin sighed, his head buried in his pillow.

"Tell Ambrose I'll be out in five minutes." Merlin murmured.

"Make it two, Merlin. The poor lad is jumping from foot to foot. It seems Arthur has sent him in a hurry."

Sighing again and forcing himself up Merlin gave an incoherent answer and began to get changed.

* * *

Merlin knocked twice on the door and waited for four seconds. An agreement between him and Arthur.

"Come in, Merlin."

Merlin opened the door and then took a step back.

Arthur was sat on the edge of his bed, a tankard in one hand, his eyes giving away that this drink was the latest of many.

"I've poured you a drink, Merlin."

"Sorry?"

"I s_aid" _Arthur's voice had drunken elaborateness in it. "I have poured you a _drink_."

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "I thought that's what you said."

"So?"

"So...it wasn't what I was expecting you to say"

"What were you expecting?"

"I dunno. 'Merlin, my shirts need to be folded, Merlin, my quilts feel uncomfortable, Merlin, I fancy a midnight three course meal.'"

"I don't talk like that."

Merlin, again raised his eyebrows but didn't pursue the argument.

"Well." Arthur kicked the nearest chair.

"Well, what?"

"Well, sit down!"

"Oh." Merlin sat down and Arthur passed him a tankard. Merlin glanced into the cup. Red wine. At least it looked and smelt like red wine.

"Stop sniffing at it Merlin. It's not poisoned."

"Are you sure about that?" Merlin asked innocently.

"Merlin, if I had wanted to kill you I would have done so years ago."

"That's...sweet of you to say, Arthur."

Arthur let out a long, loud laugh and Merlin once again looked at Arthur worryingly, before finally taking a sip from the tankard. Arthur drank his dry and leant down to pick up a huge bottle and refresh it.

"Urm, sire?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you okay?"

Arthur took a long gulp and shrugged . "Fine."

"It's just that...this isn't normal."

"It should suit you down to the ground then, Merlin."

Merlin took another sip from the tankard and stopped talking, deciding to humour Arthur for a while. Arthur seemed happy enough with this and kept drinking.

* * *

"Merlin?"

"Yes, sire?" Merlin was beginning to feel the warm comfort of the wine.

"There was a reason I asked you here tonight."

"You mean you just didn't want to share your never-ending wine supply with me?" Merlin giggled to himself slightly.

"Shut up, Merlin."

"Sorry."

"Shut up."

"I already have!"

"Right." Arthur took a long gulp and frowned. "What was I saying?"

"What a brilliant servant I am."

Arthur frowned at him but was clearly too drunk to come up with a quick comeback.

"I'm... I mean, you know, sometimes...I get...lonely."

The words hung in the air.

Merlin looked down at his glass thinking of something to say in reply to Arthur's very uncharacteristic confession.

"Lonely, sire?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"A lot of the time."

"Oh."

"All this" Arthur flung his hands to indicate, Merlin guessed, the castle. "All this...it's not as great as it looks."

"Right" Merlin mumbled, thinking of his cold room at home.

"I'm ssserious." Arthur slurred. "More room...but...more room to feel lonely. Jus...jus fake people. I miss my father."

"I know."

"Do you?"

Merlin looked at Arthur. "Yes."

Arthur's eyes filled with tears and he angrily ran a hand over his eyes. "I'm so alone."

Another silence fell.

"You have me, Arthur."Merlin said carefully after a minute.

Merlin waited for the roll of the eyes.

"I know" Arthur said softly. "I know I do."

Merlin hesitated for a second and then rose up, putting one arm around Arthur's shoulders. Arthur flinched slightly but then leaned in, slightly...

"Merlin"

"Yes?"

"If this ever gets mentioned after today, I will personally see to it that you are beheaded. Painfully and slowly."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Of course, sire."

Arthur smiled his first genuine smile for a long time.

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